Didn't make it.

I forgot about Westminster!

And Jackie would have been a shoe in... with her tricks and behavior skills training.
Carapp.

Shoot me now.
Fart.

A New Hat

I have been wanting a winter hat with a hole in it for my ponytail for ages.  I haven't been able to find one that fits, though!  So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and make one myself. So I toiled and sweated in the back seat of the bus on the way home from Kansas.  And this is what I came up with:

Not exactly what I had envisioned, but Chuckie's happy.   And I'll keep trying.  

Ned meets Killer

Killer visits the CX National Championships. 

Helen Discovers Cookie Dough

This is Helen's Hog Heaven.

ME, ME, ME!!

I'M ON FACEBOOK NOW! W00T-
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1635224870

OOK OOK!
BE MY FRIEND PLEASE

ABE.

We said we'd never do it.

I guess we lied.  Sorry, Jackie.  

Iron Pookie

Way to go Abe, you got a Iron Cross for doing two laps out there!


Jackie wants to congratulate you. Good joerb!



Uh oh, looks heavy there little guy.


Oh Nooooo!


But look at all he won!
JR is speechless.

Just Another Day at the Races

Jackie attended her first cross race this weekend, and was a SuperFan.  She intently watched every single race. 

Here she is waiting for the big show to begin.

I'm pretty sure she thinks we're all crazy.

At this point, I think she was more interested in chewing gunnar's jersey. 

Congrats, Abe

This is what Abe received for winning the Primate Division of the WVMBA series (plus a big wad of cash, of course).  He does love those knobbies of his. 

Good Job, ABE!

Jackie Takes a Digger

Well, no human members of Team Bi-Atch crashed this weekend, but Jackie sure did. I don't even know how it happened, but there she was skittering across the road. I guess she just tripped while running full speed ahead. I am pretty sure it hurt me than it hurt her, though. It didn't seem to phase her, but she did skin her chin, one elbow, and the tops of her paws. I suspect she takes after my side of the family, because we Schauers have always had a tendency to face-plant.

Here she is hanging out under the car with her newest buddy, Luna.

Who wants to play?

This is pretty much the first thing I see every morning:

No coffee is needed by this little beast.

Out of Control

gunnar CLAIMS that he obtained this particularly gruesome wound during the race at Mt. Snow, but I think we all know what really happened...

Birthday Boy

Watch out, World: Abe is turning 16 this weekend.

This means 2 things:
1) There is a new terror on the roads.

beep beep

2) He has been around for exactly 1/2 my life! (I am turning 32 this weekend.)

gunnar doesn't believe me when I say this is what Abe looked like 16 years ago. He also thinks I'll be carrying Abe around in a ziplock baggie in a couple of years.

I guess he has aged a bit, but I think he looks pretty good, considering he has:

• been run over by 2 cars (both driven by my dad), (lost an eye, the second time)
• been thoroughly saturated with water at least 3 times
• almost caught on fire twice (head was smoking)
• had multiple surgeries (thanks, Mom)
  
• been to Australia, Scotland, Canada, and Germany
• went to Germany by himself for 24 hours (first and last time he's been in checked luggage)
• been to 38 states + Wash. D.C.
• been stepped on, sat on, squashed, pummeled, teased and taunted more times than he cares to remember
  

Anyhow, he's been good company these past 16 years. I know that's weird, but a) frankly I don't care, and b) the world would be a better place if we all had a friend like Abe.

Everyone needs fuel

And everyone loves Hammer Gel!

Junk in her Trunk

Jackie is concerned that her butt looks big in this picture.

Somewhere, there is a naked turtle

My mammy is an excellent scavenger, and found a turtle shell out hiking one day. She brought it home, Pops epoxied and shined it up, and VOILA-- Abe has a bike helmet!

Now that he has a jersey and a helmet, he's all set for the Little Belgian races!

Living the Good Life

Admittedly, Jackie gets away with a bit more than little dD did. I guess that's because we've sadly learned that little furry friends can be gone in a blink of an eye.
That said, it's hard for us to tell Jackie she really shouldn't be up on the couch, especially cuddling that pillow. I am hoping gunnar's mother never sees these photos, b/c her mother made that made the pillow years and years ago, and she probably wouldn't think Jackie looks as cute as we do.

Killer Strikes Again

This week I am at the American Industrial Hygiene Conference and Expo in lovely Minneapolis. The key word there is "Expo." Expo = lots of free stuff. I have managed to resist most of the stuff, because Lord knows I don't need more pens, magnets, and other diddlies, but this little guy certainly caught my eye with his happy little helmet head and all. Remember, safety first! I've named him Ermi (Environmental Relative Moldiness Index).

Unfortunately, once I got back to the hotel, Ermi's smug grin didn't last long as Killer and his sharp pointy teeth got ahold of him. I guess helmets are no match for a vicious streak a mile wide.

Love Sticks, Love Holes

Jackie sure does!
Unceasingly in fact.
Always and forever.

These are the sticks that she has brought back from our walks, mostly over at the UHS Short Track and Training Course.
There is a poor Scarecrow underneath there somewhere.
There is also a toothbrush, some lacrosse balls, a baseball, a few pine cones, some chestnuts, a surveyors stake, and a few things weren't not sure of-


And I just found this gem this morning.
Hard to tell how deep it is, but it is, and it's a very nice and cleanly dug hole. She's perfecting her trade-




And here's some of the minefield that used to be our back yard.
It's very dangerous to hang laundry now, but it's worth it to have Jackie be so happy-
Well gosh darn it, can't find what I was looking for. Gotta go, be back in a few...


Well, regardless, some of the others aren't as amused at this, including my mother and these poor guys-


And yes, Willy has on ear protection. Poor little guy.

Another Lost Child

We have come to that wonderful time of the year when the WVU students are leaving for the summer! This week is always interesting, b/c as you probably know, college students dump a ton of their crap before they leave. It truly amazes me what these kids just throw out instead of donating to Goodwill. Needless to say, gunnar and I are not above dumpster diving, if something catches our eye.

This is what I found on the way home from work on Friday. He was just sitting there on top of a pile of trashed furniture.

Can you believe these kids? I mean a) poor Pooh, and b) I wonder if it ever crossed their mind that some kid might love a giant Pooh??! He really is brand-new.

Here he is making friends with my old big Pooh, who I rescued from a garage sale when I was 4 years old. It's kind of neat to see the old and new version of Pooh. Anyhow, the new big Pooh won't be around for long, b/c we will give him to Christian Crossings and some little kid will be thrilled to get him.

Take Your Kid to Work Day

Since I always like to support NIOSH sponsored programs, I brought some Kids to work today for the official Take Your Kid to Work Day. I hate to say it, but I think my Kids were by far the cutest ones there.


No, I do not plan to ever grow up.

Anyhow, Abe and Cheet-O were most helpful and helped me out with creating a poster with Power Point, and even answered the dreaded phone for me.
For lunch I walked down to Sheetz and got them some treats.

By the end of the day, they were more than ready to go home, though, as I always am.


Jackie and Willie spent the day digging more deep holes in the backyard.

Mini-Cooper

Abe made a friend while visiting Wisconsin.

Jackie has a boyfriend

This is Ivan.

He is a Rob's purebred Estate Doberman puppy, whose official name is Something-or-other D-84 Ivan Von G-Force. He's 7 months old and weighs 78 lbs, but he will eventually weigh about 120-130 pounds and could pretty much crunch Jackie in half if he wanted to.

Fortunately, he doesn't mind playing with a little mutt from the other side of the tracks, and Jackie even puts him in his place a time or two.

She likes to show off by having him chase her through tight spots and up, down, all around. The little tease even flirts with danger by stealing his bone and taunting him with it.

Unfortunately, the fun ends with a bath.

Ready for Racing

I must say I think my mammy went above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks to her excellent seamstress skills, Abe is now ready to serve as my own personal domestique. Thanks, Mammy!!!

eye did itt

wurkd aun mummees fon nd komptr nd thai r styl wurkng!
awl bi mi selv.
cheetoe

Patience

Don't worry, Jackie-- spring will be here soon!

Welcome to Arizona

Abe and Cheet-o became intimately familiar with the foliage of AZ.

Ow, ow, ow!!!!!

"We'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got"

"And make it quick, we're in dutch with the folks."

* from the movie "Raising Jackie"


old Poopie Pants

Caution: Parental Discretion Advised

As gunnar hinted, we've had some turmoil in the Shogren household. Jackie is one stealthy and persistent little mongrel, that's for sure. Somehow she snuck into the bedroom and ate Cheet-o's eyeballs. Poor gunnar was the one to find our sweet Cheet-o; I can only imagine his horror. I was pretty chagrined when I got the call at work.
After I raced home as fast as my legs could carry me, I scrounged around until I found a fresh set of googly eyes (the last pair!), and it was time for a little surgery.
Here's poor Cheet-o as I first saw him.
Wave at the camera, Cheet-o! Hey, over here!
The next picture might make you recoil in horror. Poor little guy.
Fortunately, I am an experienced surgeon with this type of thing.
Voila!!!! They might need a little breaking in...

I know Cheet-o's eyes must look mighty tempting to the young Jackie (either that or she's tired of him staring at her), so I ordered a gross of googly eyes on-line and am fully prepared to perform more transplants (but I hope I don't have to!).


Hi, my name is Jackie and I have a little piggy nose. Now go away so I can eat gunnar's shoe.

Terror Attacks!

And attacks some more just for good measure!

I'm afraid there's no love between the kids and Jackie.
This might take a while for the wounds to heal and forgiveness to be dispersed.
Oh my.

Poor kids...

Mutton, Anyone?

Well, it was only a matter of time before Jackie got ahold of one of the Kids. This little sheep took one for the team. Twice.
Last night the sheep was known as "Gimpy," seeing as one of his legs had been brutally amputated by Jackie during the afternoon. Today, I guess she sniffed him out again and did him a favor by evening out his appendages. He is now a Corgi-Sheep.
Henceforth he shall be known as "Stumpy."

It's really hard to chastise this little face.